ASSASSINS CREED (2016) 2 Stars (out of 5)
ASSASSINS CREED (2016) Movie Review
Rated: PG-13 – 115 Minutes
As a kid who went to the movies every Saturday and Sunday afternoon (probably because my father owned the theater — in fact, he owned 3), I just liked to disappear for a couple of hours from what was going on in my world at the time. I also loved to just sit back with a box of buttered popcorn in my lap and a Slo-Poke sucker in my hand. It didn’t make any difference what was up on the screen. As a kid I think I saw every movie that ever played at the Ritz Theater in northeast Minneapolis.
I write this disclosure because I will probably be the only film critic in Las Vegas — let alone the United States, that is not going to call ASSASSIN’S CREED the mess that it is. Everybody knows that most film projects based on a video game truly suck. Folks, the early reviews from The New York Times, Variety and The Guardian are absolutely dreadful. Here’s my take:
I sort of liked ASSASSIN’S CREED . It was a Saturday or Sunday matinee kind of movie. And an adequate escape from what is going on in today’s world for almost two hours. That’s it, an escape movie. There was action. Lots of action. There was special effects. There was music. You will be entertained. You even get to watch two Oscar winners (Jeremy Irons and Marion Cotillard). And a shirtless Michael Fassbender. That alone is worth two stars.