PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES (2017) MOVIE REVIEW

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES (2017) SCORE: C

RATING: PG-13 LENGTH: 129 Minutes

“THE ONLY PIRATES WORTH WATCHING ARE IN PITTSBURGH (AND THEY ARE IN 5TH PLACE IN THE CENTRAL DIVISION)”.

Disney had five years to develop the fifth chapter of PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN, One would have thought that co-directors Espen Sandberg and Joachim Ronning had sufficient time to develop a good movie. I tried to like this film, I really did. But in the end, it left me cold and confused.

SPOILER ALERT: For those of you who are loyal fans, stay for all of the credits at the end of the movie. There is one last scene. Very short. But you will love it!

There is very little to love about this sequel. Since THE CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL in 2003, each of the sequels seem to be less engaging and less satisfying. 14 years and four films later — not to mention nearly four-billion-dollars later, the Pirate’s franchise today is less fun; less clever and less engaging. In the case of DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES — it is DOA.

Johnny Depp, suffering from so many off-screen personal problems and issues will always be Captain Jack Sparrow. I am not sure if it is him or us who have grown tired of the character. Sadly, the reputation of this masterful actor is not the same today.

Brenton Thwaites, Kaya Scodelario, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Kevin McNally, Stephen Graham and Martin Klebbaall all appear in this film. I think that Javier Bardem, Golshifiteh Farahani and Geoffrey Rush steal the film from Mr. Depp.

The “C” rating is earned because, well because it still is PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN. There will obviously be loyal fans who will walk out of the theater loving the film. Some of the loose ends are tied up. I have to acknowledge that.

Another SPOILER ALERT: Look fast and note the pirate Uncle Jack. Yes, it is really Paul McCartney.

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